GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He’s like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I’m happier here.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy