I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I’ve got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If i come over, it means nothing
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
photo credit to count3d, original pic here
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It’s my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey, scratch that. I’ve shit 8 times today. I don’t have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.