(323):
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.

(323):

GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.

(239):
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you

(239):

Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you

(715):
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.

(715):

When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.

(334):
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He’s like a fucking jizz Houdini.

(334):

He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He’s like a fucking jizz Houdini.

(403):
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I’m happier here.

(403):

I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I’m happier here.

(224):
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.

(224):

He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.

(281):
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner

(281):

Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner

(203):
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

(203):

YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

(508):
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.

(508):

Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.

(920):
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

(920):

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy