We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think your husband is breaking up with me…
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think tonight’s gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
(214): NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
(630): Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So when’s a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y’know. Hypothetically.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
(210): Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
(210): Surprise ending
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don’t wait up