Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I’m sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
(270): Oh my god I found my bf’s erotica
(270): OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
(270): OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It’s like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
(202): Quote from doctor, “that is a VERY angry vagina”.
(202): I’m fucked.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You passed out and I didn’t draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.