(917):
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

(917):

Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

(972):

If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.

(214):
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?

(214):

Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?

(717):
I’m sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing

(717):

I’m sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing

(270):
Oh my god I found my bf’s erotica

(270):
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.

(270):
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.

(918):
It’s like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

(918):

It’s like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

(202):
Quote from doctor, “that is a VERY angry vagina”.

(202):
I’m fucked.

(708):
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my  life

(708):

Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my  life

(608):

You passed out and I didn’t draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.

(828):
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.

(828):

I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.