(330):
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.

(330):

I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.

(832):

You are one with the wind and sky, bro.

(703):
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ ON YOUR HEADSTONE

(703):

YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ ON YOUR HEADSTONE

(409):
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans

(409):

We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans

(727):
I’ve got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.

(727):

I’ve got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.

(703):
If i come over, it means nothing

(703):

If i come over, it means nothing

(702):
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
photo credit to count3d, original pic here

(702):

And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

photo credit to count3d, original pic here

(516):
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

(516):

it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

(518):
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It’s my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

(518):

You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It’s my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

(501):
Hey, scratch that. I’ve shit 8 times today. I don’t have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.

(501):

Hey, scratch that. I’ve shit 8 times today. I don’t have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.